You know you're from the FL Keys when:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember... Is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You and your co-workers have Cuban bread and Bucci for breakfast.
8. You have never owned a car.
9. You know the difference between real and fake Key Lime Pie.
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
11. The Crime report is a source of daily entertainment.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
13. A man walks down the street in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the lady downtown wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Madonna is Madonna.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You know where Jimmy Buffett lives.
18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "Hurricane Watch."
19. The local bar owner is also mayor.
20. If it's 60 degrees F, you break out the fur coat and space heaters.
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey! Is pot illegal?
23. Both you and your cat have therapists.
24. Your power goes off before you finish reading thi...
 

Amazing, but I now have lived in Rockwall since 1978, a mere 31 years.  Rockwall is located 22 miles east of Dallas, on IH 30, on the east shore of Lake Ray Hubbard, a water reservoir for the city of Dallas.

The population of Rockwall is a very comfortable 31,000.  The other 5.5 million people live on the other side of the lake.  If we ever have to evacuate to the east, we'll be one of the first out.  If we ever have to evacuate to the west we'll be dead.  I guess we could first try going south to Waco or north to Oklahoma, then cutting over back to the west.

Rockwall County is the smallest county in the State.  We have two very nice golf courses here: The Shores and Buffalo Creek.  Since I can't/don't play golf I don't really care. Its way too hard.  I find the ball too small, the club too long, and the sweet spot nonexistent.  We also have two very nice Yacht Clubs:  Chandler's Landing and Rush Creek.  Rush Creek from what I remember hearing, always has had a pretty competitive fleet of J-24's.  Sailing is a lot of work, and you don't go very fast.  Lake Ray Hubbard is loaded up with crappie, catfish, bass, striper, and sand bass.  There is always a lot of fishing going on, but you have to get up extremely early to catch them.  During the day the wind blows pretty good up here, so the lake stays rough and choppy.  I don't think I'm much for fishing either.  Too hot.  It's not safe to swim either - too many wild kids on waverunners.  Better to stay put swimming in a quiet, safe pool.  You don't spill as much beer.

There are some very good restaurants at a new development called the Harbor.  The Harbor is almost a part of our backyard.  There is a free outdoor concert there every Thursday night during the summer .  This week a Tom Petty cover band cleverly named "Petty Theft" is playing.  Should be fun as long as its not 103 degrees.  There are some very good restaurants there - Gloria's and The Blue Canyon are probably two of the best.  We also have a secret old family run hamburger joint called Boots Burgers that's been here forever.  Hard to find but real good.

If you are ever on the way to say Canton, in East Texas for their gigantic flea market "First Monday", you may find yourself driving close to Rockwall.  Call or stop by and say hello.  I'll suggest cutting short the dusty Canton junky garage sale, instead go blueberry picking in Ben Wheeler, and stop in Canton coming back for Rod's Barbeque.

Your gateway to East Texas tour guides, Bren and Carolyn Sidereas of Rockwall, TX

Dave Boerner wrote:

First San Francisco, then New Orleans, now The Florida Keys. Man I'm crying for you right now

Rick:

The "alternative life style" (i.e.; your inference to San Francisco and New Oreans) is fairly well limited to Key West (Key Wierd).  The rest of the list prety well applies however - especially the income to afford a house and the price of gasoline!  Our claim to fame in Islamorada is "a drinking town with a fishing problem" - aka "Girl's gone wild - Islamorada sandbar" on the internet.  That and George Bush Senior and Rich Tudor Jones - what a combination!

It's still a crazy place to call home - or worse, your constituentcy.  These characters actually elected me to represent them - twice!  Wouldn't ever consider living anywhere else :) 

Never take yourself too seriously - Bren has the idea!

Dave

This was sent to me by a friend. Although it is supposed to illustrate the differences between North and South, it might as well be the differences between Texas and anywhere else.

The difference between the North and the South-- clearly explained....  

Jeanne Criswell McCaffrey

I was hoping this string might start more fun stories about where we each live now, but with just two weeks left until the reunion I’ll try a different approach.    From responses to the class web page, we are spread out through 29 states in at least 112 cites, from Alaska to the other extreme where I live in the Florida Keys, plus France (great country).    So tell us some of the interesting things about where you live that’s unique, and why you ended up there.  I’ll start with my home town, Islamorada and the Florida Keys:

The Florida Keys encompass over 800 islands (Keys) stretching out over 112 miles with only about 40 of them inhabited.  Total land area is only 137 square miles of the total 1,034 square miles encompassing the Keys.  We’re all water and no land.  It’s no wonder we’re so different down here!  This is the Caribbean, mon!

There are almost no sandy beaches in the Keys.  A lot of visitors come here looking for the Florida beaches they see in advertisements.  That’s Miami!  We have a protective reef 4 miles offshore on the Atlantic side and a shallow bay and string of mangrove islands on the Gulf side that break up the waves which would normally form the sandy beaches.  Half our beaches here are sand barged in from the Bahamas!  Instead we have the third longest barrier reef in the world and crystal clear waters for fishing, diving and the original occupation here, smuggling.  We also have more bars per square mile than any place I can think of.  We’re a string of drinking villages with a fishing problem!

We’re connected by a single road that crosses an 18 mile causeway from the mainland along the edge of the Everglades and are tied together by 42 bridges.  15% of the highway is over water.  It’s always a fun joke when a visitor finds out there are 42 bridges and asks which one to take to Key West – all of them!

Before the Keys were ever connected by a road, they were connected together by a railroad that went from the mainland all the way to Key West from 1908 until it was destroyed by a hurricane in 1935.  The original road was constructed on top of the remaining railroad bridges.  Next time you cross a railroad track, imagine how narrow the bridge would have to be that could be built on top of a railroad trestle.  Now think of driving that with a drink in your hand!  Those bridges weren’t replaced until the ‘80s. 

All of the Florid Keys are in Monroe County and in one school district, 120 miles long and ½ mile wide!  That’s like one county and one school district from San Antonio to Corpus Christi.  Since we’re so stretched out we have 3 courthouses and 3 high schools – Upper, Middle and Lower Keys.  The county commissioners and school board take turns rotating between them for their meetings.

The Keys seceded from the Union in 1982 and formed the Conch Republic when Immigration put a road block at the top of the Keys to catch illegal immigrants and drugs smuggled through the Keys (once our primary occupation here).  After brandishing the weapon of choice, stale loaves of Cuban bread, the Conch Republic surrendered to the U.S. after one minute and demanded $1 billion in foreign aid.  “Normal” is not a consideration in the Keys.

The total population of all the Keys is only 75,000, hardly more than the population of New Braunfels alone.  There are only 5 incorporated towns in the Keys, from the biggest, Key West, at 25,000 to little Layton at 186.  My hometown, Islamorada, which I’ve represented on the City Council and as Mayor since 2006, and on the Planning Commission before that, is on 4 islands just 18 miles long by between 100 yards and ½ mile wide with a total land area of only 3,900 acres and a population of about 6,800 residents, but with a net taxable value of over $3 billion.  Homeowners in Islamorada range from billionaires like Paul Tudor Jones from stock market fame to fishing guides like Hank Brown of back country fame, and share alike in that you won’t see socks, ties or coats here.

We have hurricanes here.  The big one hit in 1935 wiping out the railroad and killing over 600.  Another one (Donna) hit in 1960 and took out Key Colony Beach, and a smaller one (Georges) in 1998 about the time I bought a home here that flooded my yard.  Hanging out over the end of Florida we’re typically a target for them, but we’re so small they rarely actually hit the Keys.  Everything here is built for hurricane resistance (the roof on my house is solid concrete as are the walls) so a “mandatory” evacuation called for the Keys results in a 5-7% evacuation historically.  Why leave when you have to drive out a 120 mile single road into a metropolis of several million (Miami – Ft. Lauderdale – Palm Beach) crazies when you can gather at the local bars (which don’t close) for a “hurricane party” cussing at the sensationalism of The Weather Channel from inside a building built for storms instead of in a car on the highway in a traffic jam?  We don’t do Galveston here.  Just another part of island life!

It’s never hit freezing in the Keys, and never hit 100.  We’re about the same Latitude as Monterey, Mexico, but since our land mass is so small compared to the surrounding waters our climate is controlled by the ocean temperatures.  Because of that our average annual temperature ranges from 70 in January to 85 in August, with an annual average of 80 degrees.  A cold snap here is when the temperatures hit the 60s and all the locals start looking for foul weather jackets and any other way to stay warm, which usually means gathering at the local watering hole for a stout drink!

I ended up here from one of my sailing trips to the Caribbean with a couple of buddies when we stopped in Key West on the way back from visiting Cuba on the way north.  It was before cell phones were regularly available so I walked up from the docks to use the pay phone, and had to step aside for a young lady on a bicycle in a bikini – bottom only.  Deciding Key West was a pretty interesting place to be I’d stop into the Keys whenever sailing back from the islands or traveling in this area and eventually wound up in Islamorada as just another drop out from reality.  We use to have a slogan in Austin when I lived there – “Keep Austin Weird” – it has nothing on the Keys!!

Girls with no bikini tops?  Sure sounds like a place where a fella would hate to leave out of. 

I'm still here!

You're the man

 Jeanne, to follow up on your comment about the 10 year old owning his own shotgun, I would direct your attention to the front page story in the Houston Chronicle on 10/01/09 of a 5 year old boy who shot and killed a 12 foot long, 800 pound alligator with a .410 shotgun--makes great reading! Go to the online version of the Houston Chronicle and look for the photo at the top of the page captioned "A Kill 20 Times His Size".